stop trying to change things
Perhaps you have read about the 4 Steps to Deal with (Stressful) Situations
and you wonder how it is that you can best try to change your situation. First thing you have to do is: wonder whether you can actually change the situation.
Let's say I want to change the way we register complaints from clients at work because I feel we are not offering the best services and we aren't aware of and not processing how our clients are perceiving our services. I address this to my teamlead and he says he will take it on with the quality team. After a couple of weeks I don't hear anything, and this isn't the first time. What do I do?
Think about a personal situation you are currently in and you want to change things. You can map the people that are connected to the problem or situation you want to influence.
- The people you place inside the circle of influence are the people you are directly connected with. You know them or you can reach out to them to talk about the situation. This can be in a formal way, linked to protocols, workflows or hierarchic relationships, or informally because you simply know some of the colleagues related to this situation you are in.
- The people you place inside the circle of concern are the people that are far from you, you cannot reach them formally nor informally and they have influence over your situation. These are the people often have a certain power or position over you, that can decide over your situation for the better or worse.
If I use the earlier example, the circles could be filled in in this way:
What to do next?
Now you have an overview you can do a couple of things:
- try to change the situation by directly reaching out to people in your circle of influence and ask them to act or decide something that will alter the situation to your benefit. For example: I can email the Quality team directly using their public email box for ideas & suggestions.
- enlarge your circle of influence and ask the people in your circle of influence to reach out to the people in the circle of concern (because they might know them peronally or formally) and make a request on your behalf. For example: I can ask the colleague I know from the Quality team (I do sports with) to address my situation in their team meeting and see if they can do something about it. I could also ask my team lead to get in touch with the team lead of the Quality team, or even ask if he can introduce me to him.
- enlarge your circle of influence even more by reaching out directly to the people in your circle of concern. For example: I can reach out to the department manager because I know her face or have her email and therefore I can contact her directly. Doing this is often limited to what is socially accepted or the amount of courage you feel it might require.
- decide you cannot influence your situation because you don't have enough or the right people in power within your circle of influence. This can sometimes be a very wise decision; to renounce further persistance or determined mindset and hence avoid any form of burnout that might happen to you. Pick your battles.
If all of this doesn't work out well for you, see if you made the right choice on how to deal with your situation using the 4 Steps to Deal with (Stressful) Situations tool. Or send us a message and we can see if we can help you out.
Free Tools
They do exist, perfect jobs. If you know what conditions favour you and your way of working. If you know what you value most. What energises you and what makes you eager. Here is a framework that helps you gain that overview and choose the job that fits you best.
Burnout is not an individual problem. It is a collective & systemic problem. It's not up to you to change yourself, but we need to change the environment you work and live in. And in that nurturing environment, there are ways for you to honour your own energy and priorities. I will give you a guideline.
Know what is driving you
You would like to address a colleague, but how? Can you really say it? How will they react? It can feel stressful when you want to express a concern or give feedback. Confronting is a skill you can learn to master. Here's how.
How to communicate with each other? It is our never ending training ground. I often use nonviolent communication as a baseline to start with if you want to be more clear in what you want without offending, if you are frustrated with what happens around you or when you have the feeling people don't hear what you are trying to say.
a lifestyle of purpose
It can be hard to set your boundaries to others. Especially if you don't like creating conflict, or when you are sensitive to how people perceive you, and especially if that other person is your boss or supervisor. Here are some tips on how to deal with that.
You are stuck in a situation. Somewhere you know it is time to ask for help, but that isn't something you're used to do. So how to proceed? Here are some pointers on how to learn to ask for help, without feeling ashamed about it.
When you're overloaded with work, you need to go back to the basis. "What are you hired to do?" Some already find that question challenging. That basis also relates to why you started this job in first place: tasks that energise you. Here's a tool to review your job.
